random aside: not sure what I think of this new layout.. I miss seeing the page background since it always "put me in the mood" you know? Anyways... completely random post since it's 2 am and I'm like a talkative drunk when I'm tired. (And these days, I'm ALWAYS tired after midnight, I just can't get myself to get into the bed.)
So... do I go introspective and talk about my life and my reflections on the past? Or was I going to post about my utter disappointment in CLG's loss to Vulcan? You see, I was really disappointed that CLG lost to Vulcan and I was planning to write this whole thing about my conundrum between wanting to hate CLG for disappointing my expectations as a fan and not wanting to hate the CLG players because they are people too and I don't want to hurt them when they're already down. I'm sure there was also going to be a rant about how I'm sick of players going "I'm sorry for losing because I let my fans down." While I'm glad (not really, some appreciative adjective here that doesn't include a connotation of happiness) you're thinking of us fans, I want to shake them and go "NO. Stop thinking of us fans and think of yourself. YOU are most important. If you do something, do it for YOURSELF, not for someone else."
Okay, that's pretty ironic because there are tons of things I do for other people for the sake of other people, but I always do a quick pro/con before I agree to something I dislike but am doing for another person's sake to make sure that in the end, it at least breaks even. Like going to meet Shivs in NYC and having Shanti and Smitha around all the time for those two days. I would have much rather just spend time with Shivs all alone, but it was her only chance to see Shanti and if I was to be in her shoes, I'd really hope my friends would be accommodating of my desire to see all of my friends in a short time frame. So yeah, quick pro/con comparison to determine it's in my favor.
ANYWAYS, my POINT is that I'm tired of Pros saying "I let my fans down" because even if you did, what's more important is how it affects YOU, the Pro. You should want to win for yourself, not for your fans. Otherwise, we fans will just be an obligation you carry around your neck that make you unhappy. It reminds me of a fanfic author that threatened(?) to stop writing fanfiction because not enough people were reviewing her works and she spent so much time writing fanfics for our, the readers', sake. If you're not happy, why do it? Yes, we prefer having the fanfics you write (maybe), but at the end of the day, it's your time and effort you're expending. If it doesn't make you happy, if you look back to just regret the time you spent on it: why do it?
But on a not really related note: I'm so sick of hearing "I'm sorry. I'll try better" from CLG and not seeing results. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again. If again you don't succeed, GET A HINT AND MOVE ON. As Chauster constantly says, "the results speak for themselves." You can tie it all up in pretty words like "more skilled" but at the end of the day, your strategy isn't working; it has rarely been working; and you (CLG) really need to either come up with a new strategy or ship out. Or just, you know, reset the fans explanations and say "yeah, this is all we have. Expect us to win 1 out of every 3-4 matches and not be the top team anymore" so we cans can stop pretending you guys are (should/supposed to be) number one. Or.. work your asses off so you win 1 out of every 2 games with your strategy and consistently do that but just stop with the "our strategy is great" and lose so many games. The results, after all, speak for themselves.
!!! I have just realized about myself (ignore the melodrama in the following statement): I like easily. I hate easily. I resent easily. But I rarely love.
Maybe I'm over dramatizing love, but I think the above is true (for me).
Okay, my contacts are hurting my eyes now. I shall end my verbal vomit here. Cheers.
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